The Collapse
Every second alone
and all the space I roam
can never be called home.
My heart was born shattered
and all its pieces scattered
like pieces of a puzzle.
It's chaos in my soul
the pages constantly ruffled,
the hurting takes its toll.
All I look for is love
a slice of Happiness,
but the search will drive you crazy
and tear apart your walls
and without a foundation
any building will fall.
and all the space I roam
can never be called home.
My heart was born shattered
and all its pieces scattered
like pieces of a puzzle.
It's chaos in my soul
the pages constantly ruffled,
the hurting takes its toll.
All I look for is love
a slice of Happiness,
but the search will drive you crazy
and tear apart your walls
and without a foundation
any building will fall.
The world has a funny way of knocking you down the moment you believe you can fly. It’s the same way things that go up naturally go down. I guess everything is tied together somehow. The moments of despair and pain a broken heart will leave you with will, ironically, serve to be some of the best conditioning for your emotional fitness. I believe that the worst moments of our life will in one way or another serve to be blessings in disguise. We only learn what joy is by experiencing pain.
If for every day of your life you disliked ham, and then for some odd set of circumstances you end up stranded in the woods for a few days without a meal, and the first person to find you only had a ham sandwich to offer, you will devour that ham sandwich. The point here is that one cannot fully appreciate something until they’ve been neglected of it. We would take the brighter moments in life for granted had we not known what the darker moments felt like.
So far I’ve seen that it is heartbreak that allows me to appreciate joy. Now I’ve never been in a serious relationship, but that in no way means I don’t know what a broken heart feels like. Every day without someone I feel my heart break softly. I’m the type that needs someone by my side constantly. I need that sidekick to keep me going. My pleasure is gained in doing things for others. I don’t like the attention brought about by others doing things for me, so I’m more comfortable being the one doing the helping. My heart was broken when my family had a falling out, creating awkward tensions and immature conflicts. My heart breaks when she doesn’t talk to me. My heart breaks when I feel like I let my parents or friends down. My heart breaks when I see loneliness. Heartbreak isn’t quarantined to relationships. Heart’s are the strongest of the most fragile.
The funny thing to me though is that I’m thankful I’ve had my heart broken. It has a knack for regenerating and piecing itself together with the adhesive of time, kind of like the liver (By the way, thank you Liver, with all sincerity of my being for being such a good sport these past few years.) You hear people say often that time heals everything. And I really can’t argue. It does. Time and laughter. I swear they can cure any punctured soul or diseased heart. Right now, as I type this, my heart’s intact. I have my reasons for feeling as great as I do. I was blessed to have met a wonderful girl who is equal parts beautiful and magical. We’re not serious or anything, but just having her in my life right now is medicinal. Just about 2 months ago however, she rattled my being. We had a long period of time where we didn’t speak and didn’t see each other. Being who I am, I was crushed. I’m talking about this being the first girl I speak to in the morning and the last at night. She’s basically the most stable person in my life so far save for close friends, parents and maybe one other girl. But that’s besides the point. That brief era of no contact was like taking a sledgehammer to a jellybean, the jellybean of course being my heart. But like I said, time and laughter heal everything. A few weeks went by and it was downright criminal the way I missed her. Then a funny memory popped into my head, I sprung into action, made her laugh and the planets were in alignment again.
Joy is my addiction. Heartbreak is the syringe.
The Magic
The building’s found its foundation
The walls are back in place
It’s time for celebration
This time I rose from Grace.
