SINK OR SWIM
Mid-afternoon and the sun is blazing
Watching the heat rise off the concrete was amazing
Sun tanned bodies and braided hair
Kids running and jumping and then a scare
A push from behind then a slash and then I sink
Why am I here? I can’t swim and I start to think
What do I do? And I can’t breath
I’m in seven feet of water that I can clearly see
Panic is taking over I don’t know what to do
My parents will be mad if I die and my sister will be too
Why is it that people think it’s funny
To push someone in a pool you stupid fucking dummy
If I make my way out the first thing I’ll do
Is find out who did it and make an example out of you
My cousins are gonna kick your ass, that’s if I make it out
I can’t get the life guard’s attention ‘cause I can’t scream or shout
Somehow I manage to come up for air
I find my way to the side of the pool and climb out of there
I go crying to my cousins and they investigated
To find the one who did it, it only took a minute
I’m glad to say they beat his ass
But for that boy once it was over it was in the past
I forever am shaken when I’m around the water
I’m hyper-vigilant with my kids, especially my daughter
A split second decision to push me in
A timer began that has no end
Sweating, trembling, choking and shaking
Loss of control, heart palpitating
Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed or faint
Nausea, fear of dying, losing control, an accelerated heart rate
Going crazy and de-realization
Paresthesias and depersonalization
I used to love the water but now from a distance
Fear now grips me and it feels unrelentless
Maybe one day I will swim with my kids
And do something as an adult that I never did as a kid
SWIM
